Finding Joy At Bus Stop Barber Shop

On Tuesday morning, I did something I have never done before.  I went to a barber shop for a shave.  However, upon taking the chair I learned a shave technically meant foam and a straight razor, so before Mr. Sutton could whip out the blade, I clarified my desire for a buzz with the electric razor.  Regardless of the type of haircut, I experienced something most women aren’t fortunate enough to experience, a “shave” in an old fashioned barber shop, complete with the pump up chair and the personable local barber.

I like new experiences especially when facing something potentially unpleasant. I would rather think about it as something I’ve never gotten to do before. 

Take for instance, chemotherapy.  Normally, one would not think of it as a pleasant experience.  But ever since Natalie Portman rocked a shaved head, I wondered what I would look like bald.  Now I wasn’t going to go out and shave my head for the heck of it.  I mean Natalie got millions of dollars to do it for a movie (same with Demi Moore and Sigourney Weaver).  But, with chemotherapy on my plate, daring to be bald became an exciting possibility.  When would I do it, how would I do it were thoughts that occupied my time.  I wanted to make it fun for me and I wanted others to share in the event.  Originally the hope was to be able to shave it all off at Young Life club, but my hair didn’t want to cooperate as it began to fall out the week we didn’t have club.  So a group of incredibly supportive friends met me at Studio Carpe Diem and watched as Jamie Theisen sculpted several extremely 80s punk rock styles before ultimately shaving all my hair off.

Joy.  Joy is the only word I can find to describe how I felt watching the last strip of hair disappear.  A year before I would have been petrified to not have any hair.  But a diagnosis of cancer changes a lot.  Cancer I could not control.  How I responded to cancer I could control.  Same goes for joy.  We control whether or not we have joy in our lives.  Ann Voskampf writes in her book One Thousand Gifts:  A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, “Only self can kill joy.” 

No one on earth can give us joy.  It is something that comes from within, and something that God blesses on those who put their faith in his hands.  We can choose to rob ourselves of joy by responding negatively, by being anxious, by being angry, by being bitter, by being anything adverse to our happiness.  All those negative emotions sink us into darkness. Or we can choose to find joy in our situations, even in the adversity. 

How can I learn what God has to teach me in this cancer if I shut myself off in darkness?  By looking for the joy in this situation, God can reach me.  “..For I can’t be receptive to God unless I receive what He gives.”  (Ann Voskampf, One Thousand Gifts)  Willingness to openly embrace the bad along with the good in life can be a tough pill to swallow.  But God knows what is going to happen in our lives.  My cancer was not a surprise to him.  I have to trust him that there is something good in here for me.  As James tells us, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers (and sisters), whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” [James 1:2-4]

I don't want to be lacking in anything, therefore, I will choose to find the joy in my cancer. So next time I visit Bus Stop Barber Shop, maybe I will have another new experience and choose the foam and straight blade.